What type of Wedding Ceremony will you choose?
This question is one that I ask all my couples, so that we can quickly get on the same page and align the vision!
Over the 13 years and more than 550 ceremonies that I have created and led as a proud professional Celebrant, I have of course noticed lots of changes in what my wedding couples are looking for, and one of the most striking of these is the change in how they would like to receive their wedding ceremony on this special milestone day!
So, I thought it might be something that is interesting and useful, and helps when you are asked by your celebrant, what kind of ceremony you are actually looking for!
THE SECRET SCRIPT !
There are more and more couples, and particularly those who are eloping or bringing only a small number of guests, who want the whole experience to be something of an adventure.
Choosing to hold their ceremony in more unusual places, like castles, mountains or lakeside, and they welcome the frisson of excitement and anticipation with a script that they are not familiar with, and which allows them to be truly present in the moment with me and their environment.
There has been noticeable rise in the number of occasions where I have been invited/allowed/encouraged create a ceremony like this, where all of the ceremony script itself hidden from the couple until the day of their Ceremony, and they trust me to create and capture their love story for them. It is a real pleasure to completely immerse myself in creative process, and to see their reactions to my words, as they happen. Being present in the moment with them is pure joy.
It is always an honour to be asked to create any wedding ceremony, but this is a deeper connection too, for me, as it allows me to work more closely with my couples and to really understand their vibe, tone, quirks, and create a script that truly reflects them but which they have not read beforehand. The ceremony moves forward in a fresh and very natural way; the laughter and tears are totally spontaneous, and of course, those warm fuzzy feelings flow over us all! I wrote a blog about this type of ceremony recently, the true story of a couple eloping to Switzerland! So romantic!
If you are happy to have a Secret Script, just let me know when we confirm our booking – the magic will begin once we begin working together.
SEMI SECRET SCRIPT
For some couples, a semi secret script is what they are looking for. They will have both completed their couple questionnaire separately, however I will share with them around 70% of the script, covering their shared story, timelines, proposal highlights, and special people they would like to acknowledge, as well as any rituals we are conducting in the ceremony.
What then happens is I create a separate “indvidual” script for them, where they will only read their own responses to a small number of questions which relate to their personal feelings about their partner.
For the parts that they can approve or read together, I send them both a “core” version, which doesn’t include their chosen “personal” sections. This allows us to create a ceremony the core of which they can ask me to edit if necessary, without spoiling any of the “surprise” elements.
I find this to be a really wonderful way of engaging couples enthusiastically with the ceremony itself – it is after all, the heart of their Wedding Day! <3
SECRET WISHES FROM AFAR!
I have this year seen an increasing trend for couples to have smaller and more intimate celebrations, and certainly more occasions where the ceremony is simply between us and either the photographer or planner present on the day. Elopements are certainly on the increase, which is lovely because as a Celebrant I get to stand in their circle of love, which is a place I truly love to be, as I wrote in my blog, Why you need a Celebrant for an Elopement!
My couples might have decided for several reasons to have these private moments, but they are by no means running away or being secretive about their plans – these couples are more likely to have a further full celebration back home, but consider the start of their journey into marriage to be centred on and within their hearts and spirit. It does mean that their nearest and dearest are not a part of their special moment, but there are several ways in which we can bring them into the circle of love that they have chosen.
One of these is where the couple’s parents email me their personal advice or tips on how to have a happy marriage, and it is a real honour to be their messenger! Their words are precious and I always print these out for the couple as keepsakes along with their Presentation Script, Vows, and any Readings or Certificate commemorating the ceremony.
For my weddings in the German speaking parts of Europe, I will also suggest including German words and phrases on Love, Marriage and Relationships, from authors, poets and philosophers – translated of course 🙂
During a Handfasting / Hand Tying Ceremony, the meaning behind the colours of the cords or ribbons are not shared with the couple until the day. I interpret the colour meanings as a blessing for them, based on what I know about them and their dreams and wishes, and is one of the most tender moments in the ceremony as I really do feel I am standing for them and those unable to be there, simply holding precious space for them during this ancient ritual.
SECRET VOWS
Being bilingual in German and English means that I can help couples who may wish to say some or all of their vows in their non-native language !
This really is a charming and touching surprise for the partner who is not expecting to hear Vows in their language and is I think another moment where the heart expands ! I can coach the non native speaking partner with voice notes and support on the day.
It really is a lovely “topper” to this moment where the Vows are in any case not being shared until that particular moment, which is of course a moment that is filled with excitement and anticipation.
As you can see, there are many ways a Ceremony can be created, and it is your decision what type of ceremony you choose to hold. Whatever type you choose, fully editable through to a totally secret script, I will support whatever you decide.
Please feel free to contact me about my Celebrant led weddings in Europe and the UK at any time – I am happy to simply be a sounding board, an ear, and to help you if I can. I work with amazing talented professionals, and planners and would be delighted to chat with you. Contact me via email ivvey@hotmail.com, by text or phone +447800543426, or fill in my contact form here
My deepest thanks to Aneta Lehotska, Innar Hunt Film, Larisa Gancea for the beautiful images and to Peach Perfect Weddings for planning amazing weddings!