Over the 12 years and more than 450 ceremonies that I have created and led as a proud professional Celebrant, I have of course noticed lots of changes in what couples are looking for and one of the most striking of these I thought would be useful and I hope interesting, to share with you!
There really has been a very noticeable rise in the number of occasions where I have been invited/allowed/encouraged to keep parts or all of the ceremony script itself hidden from the couple until the day of their Ceremony.
There are more and more couples, and particularly those who are eloping or bringing a small number of guests, who want the whole experience to be something of an adventure. Choosing to hold their ceremony in more unusual places, like castles, mountains or lakeside, and wanting to add to the frisson of excitement and anticipation with a script that they are not familiar with, and to be truly present in the moment with me and their environment.
It is really an honour to be asked to create any wedding ceremony, but this is a deeper connection too, for me, as it allows me to work more closely with my couples and to really understand their vibe, tone, quirks, and create a script that truly reflects them but which they have not pre-read. This allows the cermony moments to be fresh and very natural; the laughter and tears are totally spontaneous, and of course, those warm fuzzy feelings flow over us all!
If you are happy to have a Secret Script, just let me know when we confirm our booking – the magic will begin once we begin working together.
SEMI SECRET SCRIPT
For some couples, a semi secret script is what they are looking for. They will have both completed their couple questionnaire separately, however I will share with them around 70% of the script, covering their shared story, timelines, proposal highlights, and special people they would like to acknowledge, as well as any rituals we are conducting in the ceremony.
What then happens is I create a separate “indvidual” script for them, where they will only read their own responses to a small number of questions which relate to their personal feelings about their partner.
For the parts that they can approve or read together, I send them both a “joint” version, which doesn’t include their personal sections. This allows us to create a ceremony the core of which they can ask me to edit if necessary, without spoiling any of the “surprise” elements.
I find this to be a really wonderful way of engaging couples enthusiastically with the ceremony itself – it is after all, the heart of their Wedding Day! <3
SECRET WORDS AND MEANINGS
I have this year seen an increasing trend for couples to have smaller and more intimate celebrations, and certainly more occasions where the ceremony is simply between us and either the photographer or planner present on the day.
My couples might have decided for several reasons to have these private moments, but they are by no means running away or being secretive about their plans – these couples are more likely to have a further full celebration back home, but consider the start of their journey into marriage to be centred on and within their hearts and spirit. It does mean that their nearest and dearest are not a part of their special moment, but there are several ways in which we can bring them into the circle of love that they have chosen.
One of these is where the couple’s parents email me their personal advice or tips on how to have a happy marriage, and it is a real honour to be their messenger! Their words are precious and I always print these out for the couple as keepsakes along with their Presentation Script, Vows, and any Readings or Certificate commemorating the ceremony.
For my weddings in the German speaking parts of Europe, I will also suggest including German words and phrases on Love, Marriage and Relationships, from authors, poets and philosophers – translated of course 🙂
During a Handfasting / Hand Tying Ceremony, the meaning behind the colours of the cords or ribbons are not shared with the couple until the day. I interpret the colour meanings as a blessing for them, based on what I know about them and their dreams and wishes, and is one of the most tender moments in the ceremony as I really do feel I am standing for them and those unable to be there, simply holding precious space for them during this ancient ritual.
Being bilingual in German and English means that I can help couples who may wish to say some or all of their vows in their non-native language ! This really is a charming and touching surprise for the partner who is not expecting to hear Vows in their language and is I think another moment where the heart expands ! I can coach the non native speaking partner with voice notes and support on the day. It really is a lovely “topper” to this moment where the Vows are in any case not being shared until that particular moment, which is of course a moment that is filled with excitement and anticipation.
Please feel free to contact me about my Celebrant led weddings in Europe and the UK at any time – I am happy to simply be a sounding board, an ear, and to help you if I can. I work with amazing talented professionals, and planners and would be delighted to chat with you. Contact me via email firstname.lastname@example.org, by text or phone +447800543426, or through my contact form here